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[29 Jun 2008|09:53pm] |
My life story is nothing like every child's story until the very end. So far the things that took place in my life have been nothing but awful, unreal, and very unconventional, so to speak. Okay, not really but maybe a little bit close to that. At such a young age, I've already been thru so many things and it makes me a better person knowing that I overcame all of those obstacles by myself. It took me seventeen years to figure out who I really am as a person and what I want to be. I figured out that I really cannot rely on family most of the time, because some of them are usually the ones that bring me down. My family might look like the typical wealthy American family that has a lot of things going for them. We look so perfect on the outside, but when you dig in deeper, you will discover that we're not as perfect as we look. Despite all of these, I still try to be a happy person. I am happy most of the time, I do normal things that happy people do. I'm not as dark as how people perceive me to be. I just get into this whole "sad and depressed" state.
I have everything that I could possibly want, everything but my parent's love. I don't want to be a clone of my father or when I get older, I know that I will be something better. I remember the day when my father made me hate him. He was supposed to go to this award ceremony. You see, I got first place on some science project that I worked on for months. He told me not to worry because he will be there, he will be there to put that medal around my neck. He never showed up. I was embarassed infront of my classmates, teachers and friends. I didn't go back home that day. I went to my best friends house, her parents always treated me like one of their own no matter what and what ever I needed they were there for me
I realized how good I have it compared to some. But do I really deserve it? I have never worked for anything. The A's in school came naturally, so did the girls. I know I'll never have to work a dead end job. My family always has money and probably always will. I'm waiting for karma to hit me. I'm waiting to see when I'll be punished for my father's and grandfathers sins. Will I one day have to pay retribution for the little people my ancestors stepped on..
I'm now 22 going on 23 and the only thing that's changed is that I've stopped worrying so much about my father's approval. I live my life the way I want to live it and damn him and his fucking millions. By the way, I'm Leean Elizabeth Barnes and I'm heiress to the Barnes fortune... Unlike so many heiresses I actually work. I try and distinguish my self from my family name wanting wanting my expertise to open doors rather than my father's reputation.
I graduated top of my class at Stuyvesant High School and went on to NYU where I graduated with a major in journalism and currently am an editor of a fashion magazine. Being a fashion editor is so completely different from what my family legacy is, but as I said I could care less about legacy and tradition. I've always cared about fashion, even when I was a little girl. It's one of the things my grandmother and mother taught me. Always look your best, especially if you're a Barnes, you don't want your picture in some magazine looking like you just rolled out of bed. Even though I don't give a shit what people think I still like to look good. It seems kind of hypocritical I know but I only care about what I think looks good.
I have a reputation for telling it like it is. Some people call that being a bitch I just call it being honest. If you don't like me I don't really care, I probably wouldn't like you either.
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